Thursday, 19 August 2010

Daybooking* in the month of AUGUST

OK, so I missed July. But, I was heavily pregnant, had finished my first year of assignments and the kids had finished school. Early August, I had the baby, and 2 weeks later, I feel a little more human (I said a little....)

Outside my window: Actually, it's getting Autumnal, which is mad, as I purchased quite a bit of newborn stuff for Rebecca envisaging that we were going to be in the middle of a summer heatwave this month. I love the view over the fields and woods at the back in the sunshine, and also the nip in the air, but its bittersweet - Dear Husband is returning to work next week, leaving me with the entertaining of 3 beautiful yet demanding girls (nearly 6, 4.5 and 0) and in less than 3 weeks the elder ones will return to school and pre-school....just as I am getting used to spending lovely time together as a family of five.

Thoughts: I don't think I am thinking as such - my mind is idling, between feeds and naptimes. I'm thinking of food a lot. Especially things I didn't have during pregnancy, like smelly, really stinky, nasty cheese. And not thinking at all about the food I craved like billy-o during pregnancy (I would not care if I never ate Mexican again. Go figure.)

Thanksgiving: For the safe arrival of Baby Rebecca Mary. For keeping me safe with my family. For the gift of life.

Kitchen goings-on: Hahahahaha. Ask my Husband. He's been washing, preparing food, cleaning surfaces, sterilising breast pump, nipple shields and breast shells ad infinitum. I have planned a weekly menu and ordered some food for delivery from the supermarket this afternoon. But I'm not cooking. Despite my mother's assumption I would be whipping up a blackberry and apple crumble (the blackberries my Dad picked from the garden went straight in the freezer.)

Reading: Facebook, Facebook, BBC News, Parenting Magazine, HIPP Babyclub website, Mothercare website - what do you know, I'm in a baby bubble.

Listening: CBeebies TV Channel. Girls lounging around on the sofa. Dustbins being moved around outside. More CBeebies. No 2 week old baby screaming for food - yet. She's napping.

Wearing: A lovely button-up red and white summer dress which is suitable for entertaining guests and quick breastfeeding (I mean quick opening, we don't do quick feeding in our house - minimum 45 minutes, up to 1.5 hours, each session.)

Around the house: I'm doing as little as possible. Girls are getting their sheets changed, we're going to try and do some vacuuming today. The day before labour, I was sticking up wallpaper borders and painting gaps in the kitchen wall white. I'm super glad we got the new sink, but strangely enough, household things aren't annoying me this month!

A Favourite Thing: The family. Girls. They're being great. From the biggest to the littlest. All troopers. And Husband has been a hero, from supporting me through labour to putting up with my sleep deprived rattiness.

*With thanks to Peggy.

Friday, 6 August 2010

It's a girl!

Well OBVIOUSLY, after blogging about how the caesarean was due, I would go and go into labour beforehand wouldn't I? Luckily it worked out well - I was labouring for a long time, so another 24 hours+ experience like with my first cbild (Sophie.) But despite attempts to push Sophie out (including more than a little help from forceps) she remained stubbornly positioned and I had my first caesarean. Second time around (Imogen) and I didn't fancy going through all that again. Four years later (Rebecca Mary Standen Croasdale) I obviously had no memory of what it's like to struggle to get fully dilated to 10 cm even with the aid of gas & air, so had another go - and this time (ventouse and episiotomy notwithstanding) did get there without medical intervntion. And not an awful lot of pain relief. Ouch.

She's here, anyway, and she's beautiful, and after delivery she was home with us all 15 hours later which was fantastic (and the main reason I wanted to labour 'naturally' to be honest.) Her big sisters love her even though she has done little but feed and sleep. She appears to be adjusting well to my attempts to get her on a bit more of a routine. I am so thankful for the help of my husband in dealing with this when I already have 2 little girls who need entertaining! And Thank God for being amazingly blessed with our wonderful family.

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

The final stage....

Well, this is it folks! Soon we'll have Baby No 3 (possibly a Rebecca, or an Edward, and no the boy's name is not inspired by Twilight....) I think I'm starting to panic, as although the old cervix appears to be ripening and I am doing mad bastard things like sticking on new wallpaper borders and washing children's shoes with fabric shampoo, I'm certainly not prepared for delivery on Thursday.

Yes, Thursday! Best case scenario - we are the only ones booked in for C-Section on that day, there are no emergencies, and I am in theatre in the morning. Worst case - we are one of 4 booked in, and there are emergencies, and we will have to wait (on nil by mouth - thousands of apologies in advance, Dear Husband, if this makes me - additionally - moody.) And although I have this big faith, I still have anxiety - mainly because despite having 2 previous C-sections, they weren't planned in quite the same way as this one, and I just had to go with it, rather than having some semblance of structure but not being sure about the details.

Also, I'm trying to put in the back of mind thoughts about what happens if everything should go horribly wrong, as I have the best husband/friend/partner & 2 wonderful little girls at home - I just keep reminding myself that this is actually a routine operation these days. It's kind of like my fear of flying though - I'll be praying, and I know lots of other people are praying, for safe delivery - but I'm having to completely relinquish control and rely on the blessed surgeon and other health professionals who are helping out God bring new life into the world. So I'll be praying for them too! There'd be no guarantee that things would be any less worrying if a vaginal delivery was on the cards (in fact, knowing me, they'd be far more problematic)*, but I still can't quite get my head round the knowledge that we're going in on Thursday and baby will finally be with us!

It's not been an arduous pregnancy - my husband may differ on this, as he's been the one picking up the pieces while I was full of vomit, & struggling with pelvic pain - but I am ready for it to come to and end and meet the newbie. Obviously not looking to post-op recovery and lack of sleep and trying to get feeding sorted and so on - and my family are the best helpers in the world, but they may need entertaining with other stuff before long :-) But, we'll get there. See you on the other side!

*just watch me kick off into active labour this afternoon, that'll teach me!