Tuesday, 3 August 2010

The final stage....

Well, this is it folks! Soon we'll have Baby No 3 (possibly a Rebecca, or an Edward, and no the boy's name is not inspired by Twilight....) I think I'm starting to panic, as although the old cervix appears to be ripening and I am doing mad bastard things like sticking on new wallpaper borders and washing children's shoes with fabric shampoo, I'm certainly not prepared for delivery on Thursday.

Yes, Thursday! Best case scenario - we are the only ones booked in for C-Section on that day, there are no emergencies, and I am in theatre in the morning. Worst case - we are one of 4 booked in, and there are emergencies, and we will have to wait (on nil by mouth - thousands of apologies in advance, Dear Husband, if this makes me - additionally - moody.) And although I have this big faith, I still have anxiety - mainly because despite having 2 previous C-sections, they weren't planned in quite the same way as this one, and I just had to go with it, rather than having some semblance of structure but not being sure about the details.

Also, I'm trying to put in the back of mind thoughts about what happens if everything should go horribly wrong, as I have the best husband/friend/partner & 2 wonderful little girls at home - I just keep reminding myself that this is actually a routine operation these days. It's kind of like my fear of flying though - I'll be praying, and I know lots of other people are praying, for safe delivery - but I'm having to completely relinquish control and rely on the blessed surgeon and other health professionals who are helping out God bring new life into the world. So I'll be praying for them too! There'd be no guarantee that things would be any less worrying if a vaginal delivery was on the cards (in fact, knowing me, they'd be far more problematic)*, but I still can't quite get my head round the knowledge that we're going in on Thursday and baby will finally be with us!

It's not been an arduous pregnancy - my husband may differ on this, as he's been the one picking up the pieces while I was full of vomit, & struggling with pelvic pain - but I am ready for it to come to and end and meet the newbie. Obviously not looking to post-op recovery and lack of sleep and trying to get feeding sorted and so on - and my family are the best helpers in the world, but they may need entertaining with other stuff before long :-) But, we'll get there. See you on the other side!

*just watch me kick off into active labour this afternoon, that'll teach me!

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