Actually, the times aren't bad, it's just that some days it feels like my pelvis is being crushed like a steam roller, or the neighbours' cat jumps in through our window scaring me awake at 4am for the day, when it's been a hot night and I've already struggled to get any sleep.
Still, a few things are making me take stock and realise that although at the most manic times of day (getting cleared up after breakfast to get to school, doing 2 girls' hair, assisting with teeth brushing, etc, then the same on the way back, unpacking bags and trying to get the dinner prepped after ballet class) it is inevitable that I'll lose it given the amount of hormones coursing through my body, actually everything is OKAY and I need to SLOW DOWN, really slow down into slow motion whenever I can and start preparing for this baby, instead of focusing on the rushing around aspect of our lives.
I went to my singing group tonight (did you know I sang? Not fantastically, but well enough to do part singing in a group) and at first I found it a huge bind that I had to sit down because of pelvic problems, but then just settled into it and let the sound of the other singers resonate around me. I can still do a lot of things while sitting. I also need to do them more slowly.
So. Nothing particularly meaningful there. I just want to make myself listen to myself a bit more, if you know what I mean. I'm constantly striving for times and targets, and now I'm coming up for 30 weeks pregnant, it's time to realise that such things don't matter one jot in comparison to bringing new life into the world. It's time to pack up and head away into nature for a few days, without worrying about doing things right. It's time to start serving cheese and crackers for dinner if necessary, without being bothered that it's not a culinary masterpiece.
I hope I heed my own advice...watch this space.