Listen up. I'm a great believer in my own personal space. Hem me into a corner, and you'll know about it. Come up close to me and put your arm around me, and I'll wriggle out and/or tell you to desist. But those of you assuming that because I have new life inside me I am happy for you to come up and rub my middle? I can't seem to tell you in person - but BACK OFF!!!!!
For a start, most of you are actually touching my belly, which wasn't skinny even in my amphetamine-fuelled university days and, 2 C-sections later, has lost all will to be flat. Having something in my uterus has pushed the belly down, so that when all you freaky women (no men - yet) rush up and put your hand on me, you are just experiencing a lot of undefined muscle (and fat.)
As for the bump, the bump is mine!!! There aren't many of you that rush up to embrace my 2 daughters who live in the world without asking for a cuddle, so why invade MY body privacy AND that of my child in utero. When Baby is born, you won't try and grab him/her out of my arms without checking it's OK with me first. Nobody, but NOBODY whooshes up to me and grabs my breasts, not even in these new low cut maternity tops I'm sporting. It's simply not considered appropriate. But so many of you think the bump is theirs. So next time, ASK FOR PERMISSION.
And FYI, I'm likely to say NO.